Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Another Reason To Hate People WIth Kids

I have decided that having babies makes people complete self involved, tight assed, short sighted and narrow minded pretentious fucking morons.

No One Is Safe From This Madness.

I'm surprised concerned parents haven't passed a law that a baby's eyes have to be sheilded from seeing the birth canal they come through, because it's pornographic.
I wonder when they'll pass laws saying you can't carry your baby unless it's wrapped in portable airbags.

Today, an underling from the Madison School District came over to our house to tell me that the principal has had complaints from parents about the nude mannikin with the alien head on it in my front window.
Somehow it's disturbing for the self entitled swine who park in front of my house with their fucking exhaust spewing engines waiting for their fat little waddlers to come out and get in big ugly cars to see an armless torso that doesn't have clothes on it.
The same fucks who are destroying their kids future by spewing carbon instead of walking, by feeding them a diet of corn syrup and refined flour, who let them sit in front of the idiot box playing games or watching dreck on TV so they can get early blood pressure problems and diabetes.

The same fucks who think the only thing that matters is the children they drop out of their bodies without a second thought, who can't be bothered to actually think about what they're doing long enough to get out of the fucking car and feel, smell and see the world by walking or biking.
I swear,the human race is a greedy, stupid, narrow minded bunch of mentally deficient goldfish brained jackasses who run from the idea of owning who and what they do and the consequences of those actions, and are clueless as to what a gift this life is that they're pissing away.

And what's up with the fucking school system? They can't just have the principal come over across the parking lot and talk to me, the next door neighbor, but instead have to have some flack drive around town and be hatchet person?
School's not even in session.
This country is involved in two bloody wars of agression, starting a long slide into another great depression, have weird and ugly weather starting to kick asses and take names, have a President who would piss on the Constitiuion after he wiped his ass it flaunting his powers and flipping the bird to everybody, and there are people complaining about an armless white plastic mannikin torso?

I'm glad I'm going out of town for the weekend, I need to get the fuck away from all the morons here and hang out with my dirty fucking hippie pals.

And to all my pals who are pregnant, or freshly afflicted with kids, don't think for a fucking moment you're getting any slack when you get the "think of the children" stupids on.

You, your spouse and your children are not fucking special snowflakes.

You're the same decaying organic matter the rest of us are, regardless of how entitled you feel to be mono subject about your kids, your right to drive them everywhere, and your need to push a fucking sport utility size stroller around the farmer's market at a snail's pace.

Have a nice day, all of you, even you mono subject boring ass child rearing fuckwads.


M Big Mistake said...

I say strap a dildo to the mannequin and call it a day.

michael said...

ellie, ellie, ellie,

can you not fathom how truly damaging the sight of breasts are to children? (oh, wait... no, the breasts are fine; the NIPPLES are evil.)
they remind the wee ones of a food source that isn't store-bought, pumped up with high-fructose corn syrup, and marketed to them in a little box with a cheap Taiwanese toy. ie. completely un-american.
all of this is moot, though; because your manikin lacks nipples.
and don't get me started on aliens...

"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis." Ralph Waldo Emerson